You are the Moon
by willwriteforcoffee
Summary: Believing that he is holding Gon back, Killua goes off on his own. Five years later, they see each other again. A Kirugon fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Killua flinched at the sound of the floorboard creaking.

"Killua?" Gon whispered from the darkness. He sat up in bed. "Where are you going?"

"Go back to sleep," the young boy reassured him.

Gon threw off his covers. "I'm going with you."

Killua stepped into the shadows so that the moonlight filtering in through the window didn't expose his tears. "No, Gon. Not this time."

"Eh?" His eyes widened in innocence. "I don't understand, Killua."

"You need to find Ging," he explained, struggling to hide his emotions. He sidestepped towards the bedroom door. "And I need to get a life of my own."

"But Killua, you are my life."

A blush spread like wildfire across his cheeks. "You know I hate it when you say stuff like that."

"But it's true," Gon insisted. "Please don't leave. I can't find him without you."

"I have potential, Gon. I have the potential to be one of the best pro-Hunters there ever was." He hid his tear-rimmed eyes before adding, "But not if I have you by my side. You're holding me back."

There was a moment of deafening silence.

Killua was shocked to see a smile light up Gon's face. "You are my best friend. If being on your own will make you happy, I promise not to follow you." The fire in his eyes dimmed. "No matter how badly I might want to."

Killua honestly couldn't believe Gon had bought his lie. After all, he was leaving because it was him holding _Gon _back. Not the other way around. "Thank you, Gon. And good luck on finding your dad." He quickly wiped at his eyes. "Maybe I will see you again someday."

Gon cocked his head to the side. "Oh, I have no doubt about that."

Killua resisted the urge to turn around. "And why is that?"

"Because you are the moon." Although he couldn't see it, Killua could hear his smile. "You won't be able to hide from me forever. The sun has to go down eventually."

Terrified that he wouldn't be able to hear another word without breaking down completely, Killua turned off his emotions and disappeared from the room.

He disappeared with the intention of never coming back.


	2. Chapter 2: Five Years Later

**Chapter Two: Five Years Later**

Killua snatched the two tokens mid-air.

"Make it quick," Illumi Zoldyck commanded. "I need you back here by nightfall."

"Who are my targets?" Killua asked, rubbing his thumb over the wooden chips.

"A man by the name of Leorio Paladinight and his girlfriend, Tessa."

A gasp escaped his lips. "Leorio."

"Problem?" Illumi arched an eyebrow at his younger brother.

Killua detected a hint of a smirk on his brother's lips. "Who would want them dead?" he blurted out without thinking.

"Does it matter?"

Killua dropped his eyes. "No." He slipped the tokens into his pocket and headed for the door. "I'll be back soon."

It didn't take him long to find the couple. They were only a few cities over from the Zoldyck estate. Leorio and his girlfriend were eating lunch at an outdoor restaurant. They looked happy.

_It's best to do it quickly_, he thought to himself. He was perched on the branch of a nearby tree, stalking his prey. _Slice their throats and get it over with._ Killua was about to climb down from the tree, but stopped when he saw a third person join their party. His slanted eyes narrowed. If he needed to, he would kill them as well. Whoever the teenager was, he sat at the table with his back facing him.

Closing his eyes, Killua focused all of his Nen on his sense of hearing.

"We're being watched," the boy said loudly, not even bothering to whisper.

Killua's eyes flew open. All three of them were staring in his direction. He shrunk back into the shadows, but he knew it was of no use. He had been spotted. To make matters worse, the third guest wasn't just some teenager. It was Gon. His Gon.


	3. Chapter 3

Killua scrambled to the ground and took off in the direction of the park. He hated himself for running away from a target. When Illumi found out, he would let him have it. But he didn't care. Nothing, not even hours of endless torture, could be worse than having Gon see him like this.

He became increasingly aware of someone following him. He didn't dare look over his shoulder, but he could detect their strong presence behind him. Killua quickened his pace. Not that it mattered. Without even realizing what was happening, he was tackled to the ground. He squirmed beneath their weight. Before he had the chance to fight back, he was flipped on his back.

A pair of light brown eyes bored down on him. He would recognize those eyes anywhere.

Even though his childlike face hadn't changed any, and his black, spiky hair with green tips was the same, Gon wasn't anything like the boy he knew five years ago. He wasn't bulky, but his muscles were well defined. He had definitely sprouted a foot or two. And if his overwhelming aura was any indication, he had grown a lot more powerful. Killua, on the other hand, hadn't changed much. He may have toned up some, but he still looked younger than he actually was. And his strength left something to be desired.

"Killua?" Gon breathed. Killua couldn't bear the shocked, disgusted look on his face. He was forced to look away.

"Don't act like you didn't know it was me back there," he replied bitterly.

Gon climbed off of his chest, but kept his legs pinned to the ground so that he couldn't run. "What happened to you?"

The comment left Killua feeling irrationally self-conscious. Gon had no way of knowing what he had been up to over the last few years, so it had to have been a criticism of his appearance. Killua scowled up at him. "What's that supposed to mean? I still look exactly the same."

"Your aura…" Gon whispered, shaking his head. "It's…it's evil." Killua struggled at pushing his old friend off of him. Gon let him. "You were planning on killing us back there," Gon said, piecing it together. "You went back to work for your family, didn't you?" His youthful face hardened.

"That is none of your concern," Killua responded. "And for the record, killing you was not my intention. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"But Leorio is your friend."

"I don't have friends. Leorio Paladinight is my target. And by the end of the evening, he and his girlfriend will be dead."

"I am sorry, Killua," Gon whispered.

"For what?" he barked. Killua didn't need or want his pity.

Gon hit him just hard enough to knock him out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Is anyone actually enjoying this story? I'll keep writing it if you are. I would greatly appreciate any thoughts or suggestions :)

**Chapter Four:**

Killua awoke to the sound of hushed whispers. He opened his eyes slowly, but clamped them shut again as a throbbing pain formed at the back of his head.

"He's conscious," a male voice announced.

He fought against the pain to keep his eyes open. It took them a moment to focus. He was in a bedroom. Whose bedroom, he wasn't sure. Killua attempted to sit up in the bed, but a thick set of chains kept him locked in place. He yanked at them and frowned when his strength didn't easily break them.

"They're infused with Nen," an oddly familiar voice informed him. He was surprised to glance up and see Kurapika standing at the foot of the bed. The blonde-haired boy of his youth hadn't seemed to age a day.

"What are you doing here?" Killua snapped.

Kurapika laughed. "Funny. I could ask you the same thing."

"I was knocked unconscious and dragged here. If you don't let me go right now, my brother will come find me and then he will kill you."

"Will he though?" Kurapika asked. Killua set his jaw. "I can't let you go until after the wedding. We don't have time to deal with you right now."

"Wedding?"

"Yes. Leorio's wedding is tomorrow and we'd rather he be alive for it."

"You're in town for a wedding?" Killua asked in disbelief. "Gon, too?"

"I'm the best man," he answered proudly. "Gon is an usher."

Killua felt a pang of jealousy. He instantly hated himself for feeling such an emotion. _Why should I be jealous just because a bunch of losers I hung out with five years ago had all kept in touch? _"If you're not going to let me go, then why don't you just kill me?" he asked with a sigh.

"Believe me, when I found out that you had been planning on killing Leorio and Tessa, I wanted to." He folded his arms across his chest. "Gon wouldn't let me."

His ears perked at the name. "Where is Gon, anyway?" Killua tried to sound disinterested.

"Don't even think about it," he warned.

Killua blinked in confusion. "Think about what?"

"Smooth-talking your way out of this. I can see right through you, Killua Zoldyck. If you think I'm going to let you take advantage of Gon's naiveté and forgiving nature, you better think again. I'm not letting you two be alone in the same room together. He doesn't want me to kill you because he thinks he can change you. He thinks things can go back to the way they were. But I know better." He shook his head, swaying his dangling ruby earring. "You're too far gone."

Killua let out a sound of disgust. _He wants to change me. Like I'm some project. I don't think so. _"Oh, don't worry. I don't want anything to do with Gon." He dropped his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. "Kill me, keep me chained here forever, I don't care. Just let me know when you decide."

It wasn't long before he slipped back into sleep. When he woke up again, the room was dark. He tugged at the chains just to see if they were still there. They were.

"Killua?" a sleepy voice whispered from beside him.

Killua let out a startled cry and turned to see Gon lying in the bed with him.

"I didn't mean to frighten you," Gon rushed to add.

"Get out of my bed," Killua demanded. _Five years later and he was still doing the same shit._

"Actually, it's my bed," he countered.

"What are you _doing_ in here?" His eyes searched the room. "Where's Kurapika?"

"He's staying in the guest room," explained Gon, unfazed.

"That still doesn't answer my question. What are you doing in here?"

Even in the dark, Killua could feel his glare. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you."

"Please, Killua," Gon pleaded.

Killua rolled his eyes. "You get one question."

His tone turned serious. "Would you have really done it?"

A wave of nausea rolled over him. "Yes."

"You hesitated," Gon accused loudly.

"What?"

Gon bounced once on the bed, like an excited child. "Just now. You hesitated."

"I did not," Killua replied with a scowl. "I had every intention of killing them. I still plan to."

Gon didn't seem to hear him. "I knew they were wrong." He stretched back out beside Killua. "I just knew it."

Killua knew there was no point in arguing with him when he got like this, so he let the subject drop. It wasn't long before he could hear the sound of Gon snoring. It was a comforting sound, and it followed him into slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **haha Starbucks you're absolutely right, I wouldn't want to make anyone sad so I will continue to write :D. But I must warn you that I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this either. And thank you to everyone else for the reviews! I fangirl every time I see one in my inbox. And yes, there are a few flaws in my story, as my oh so loving brother was kind enough to point out, but I'm trying my best :P ALSO, JUST A REMINDER: THIS IS A **KIRUGON** FANFIC.

"_Rock…paper…ROCK," roared Gon. The Chimera ant crumpled to the ground after one final blow. Gon scampered over to Killua, his fist held up in victory. "Together we're unstoppable. Right, Killua?"_

_Killua chuckled. "Right."_

_The air filled with the sound of buzzing and flapping wings._ _Killua stiffened defensively and took on a fighting posture, but Gon held out an arm to stop him from attacking. "Let me take him," Gon insisted. Killua had to force himself not to laugh at the cute look of determination on his face. _

"_Go for it," he replied, fighting a smirk. He watched his friend run towards the flying creature._

_Kite sidled up beside Killua._ "_The kid has potential," he grunted._

_Killua nodded in agreement. "That he does."_

"_He was wrong, you know," Kite murmured._

"_Huh?" Killua looked up at the tall Hunter._

"_The two of you might think you're stronger as a pair, but you're not. The only reason I was able to find Ging was because I had no one holding me back."_

_Killua scowled in anger. "Are you saying I'm holding Gon back?"_

"_I'm saying that as long as you are with him, Gon is never going to find his dad. If you were truly his friend, and if you truly cared for him in the way I think you do, you would leave him and never come back."_

His chest felt heavy all of a sudden. "No…no, Gon needs me." He found it difficult to breathe. "I need him." Killua awoke with a gasp, only to discover the source of his discomfort. Gon was sprawled out on top of him, his head resting on his chest. "Wake up, Gon," he grumbled. "You're not twelve anymore." He tried bucking his torso to jostle the large boy awake. Gon was dead to the world. Killua sighed and stilled his hips. If he was being honest with himself, he didn't necessarily mind the position all that much. Discomfort wasn't a foreign concept to him, and he couldn't remember the last time he felt another person's touch. It was nice, not that he would ever admit it. He just hoped Kurapika didn't walk in on the scene.

"Killua," Gon whispered lightly.

Killua winced at being caught. He racked his brain for a lie that would explain why he didn't try harder at waking him up. When Gon began snoring again, he let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. _He was only talking in his sleep_, Killua reassured himself. _But_ _doesn't that mean he was dreaming about me?_ He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"Gon? Gon, if you're in that bedroom, I am going to kill you," Kurapika shouted as he started to aggressively knock on the door. "I told you not to go in there!" Killua panicked and feigned sleep. He managed to steady his breathing just as the door banged open. There was a moment of unnerving silence as Kurapika assessed the situation. "Great. This is just great. I should have known this was going to happen." Killua sensed movement as Kurapika strode towards the bed and shook Gon so hard it rocked the frame. "We have to be ready to leave in an hour."

"Eh?" Gon answered groggily. The weight on Killua's chest was removed as Gon lifted his head.

"Leorio wants us to be ready for pictures at his parent's house. So get dressed. We'll talk about the Killua situation later."

Killua could feel eyes on him. Not just any eyes. Gon's piercing light brown eyes.

"Uh huh," Gon said in opposition. Killua's eyes flew open when Gon grabbed his shoulders and began shaking him back and forth. "Killua's coming with us."

"Absolutely not," Kurapika refuted. "I'm keeping him chained up here until we decide what to do with him."

"Well isn't there a way to keep the chains on him?"

"You're going to drag him around like that?" Kurapika asked hesitantly.

"No, he's not," Killua finally spoke up. "I'm staying right here, thank you."

"He'll go as my date," Gon exclaimed in excitement, ignoring him.

Killua blushed furiously. "I am _not _going as your date to a wedding. I'm telling you that right now."

Kurapika smirked at the exchange. He couldn't help it. Nineteen years old and they still bickered like five year olds. It was almost refreshing to watch. He walked backwards towards the door. "You know what. That's a great idea." Killua narrowed his eyes at him. That only made him smirk wider. "But if something happens and my Nen fails for any reason, I am blaming you." As if for emphasis, he slammed the door shut on his way out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **My inspiration tends to come in short bursts, hence the short chapters. Sorry about that. YOUR REVIEWS CRACK ME UP. SERIOUSLY. I LOVE THEM. So don't be afraid to post one :D Oh, and sorry about some of the reviews not showing up before. I accidentally forgot to turn off Moderate Guest Reviews. But they should show up now. P.S. I hope you guys keep reading :P

"Are you keeping an eye on him?" Leorio asked nervously, watching Killua in his rearview mirror.

"Yes," Kurapika answered calmly. "Now can you please pay attention to the road?"

"It's my wedding day, alright? I was nervous enough as it is. Then Gon had to go and invite the assassin who wants me killed."

"I look ridiculous," Killua grumbled, ignoring the fact that they were talking about him like he wasn't even there.

"At least we were able to find you a suit," Leorio snapped from the driver's seat.

"If you haven't noticed, Gon and I aren't exactly the same size anymore."

"That's for sure," Gon said, laughing. "You look like you've spent the last five years cooped up indoors. What have you been doing?"

Killua was oblivious to the uncomfortable silence that followed. He was too busy using his elbows to tug at his suit. The black fabric against his pale skin and silver head of hair made him look sickly. Gon's comment did little to boost his self-esteem.

"Killing innocent people, that's what," Kurapika felt the need to add from the passenger's seat.

"Keep it up and you'll be next," Killua threatened under his breath.

Kurapika startled him by tightening the chains around his wrists until they dug into his skin. He bit back a scream. His face turned red as he worked to control the pain. He had been through a hell of a lot worse. He couldn't figure out why it was hurting him this much. "I never thought I would see the day," Kurapika breathed. "The day I was stronger than a Zoldyck."

"You are _not_ stronger than me," Killua snarled. His face contorted in pain as Kurapika worked the chains further up his arms like a vine and yanked even tighter. _Since when is he able to do _that_? He shouldn't be able to. I'm not a spider._

"Leave him alone!" Gon shouted.

"Then prove it," Kurapika dared.

"Release me from these chains and I will," he shot back.

"How about we don't do that?" Leorio interjected timidly, glancing back over his shoulder. "This is supposed to be the best day of my life and I swear if you guys ruin it for me I will…I will…"

"You'll what?" Killua asked amusingly.

He narrowed his eyes at him. "Well wouldn't you like to know."

Gon jumped out of his seat at the sound of a horn blaring. "Leorio, the road!" he gasped. Leorio swerved his car and managed to just barely avoid an oncoming truck.

"I might not even have to kill Leorio," Killua quipped. "His terrible driving is going to do the job for me."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. The wounded expression on Gon's face nearly killed him. He slid his gaze to the window and swallowed hard.

"Tomorrow," Kurapika declared. "Leorio and Tessa will be off on their honeymoon. We'll prove whose stronger then."

"You're challenging me to a fight?" Killua asked in a bored tone.

"Unless you're not up for it?" Kurapika taunted.

"I'll fight you under one condition," he replied, turning away from the window.

"That condition being?"

"It's a fight to the death."

Gon inhaled sharply, but didn't say anything.

"Fine," Kurapika replied. He shifted in his seat to face the front of the car.

Killua turned back towards the window. He could feel Gon watching him, but he refused to look in his direction. Five minutes passed without so much as a word. It was eerily silent in the car.

"So Leorio, where are you going for your honeymoon?" Killua asked, breaking the silence. He tried to sound conversational.

"Oh, we're going to this beautiful place in- Hey, wait a minute."

"It was worth a shot," Killua said with a shrug, repressing a smile.

Kurapika chuckled, despite himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: I struggled some with this chapter, so sorry it's kind of short. Please bear with me :D**

"Can't we just leave him in the car?" Leorio proposed.

"No you can't just leave me in here!" protested Killua.

Kurapika smirked. "We'll crack a window. He'll be fine."

"Come on, guys," Gon chimed in.

"Fine, but don't let him anywhere near the food," Leorio grumbled. "We all know how he can eat." Leorio and Kurapika piled out of the car. Killua perked up at the mention of food and started after them.

"You're not going to defeat him, you know," Gon informed him quietly when they were out of earshot. "Kurapika has gotten a lot stronger. He had to if he was going to collect the rest of the eyes."

"I'm not too worried," Killua replied, brushing off his concern.

"Well I am."

"Don't be." Killua struggled to open the door with tied wrists. He couldn't handle being in a car alone with Gon.

"I never stopped worrying about you."

Gon's words pierced his heart. Killua squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back tears. He fumbled with the metal handle until finally the door swung open. He fell over himself in a rush to get out of the car. "We should probably head inside." Gon followed behind him closely, his concerned gaze boring holes into Killua's backside. The moment Killua walked through the front door, Leorio seized him by the elbow and directed him towards a couch in the corner of the room. "Sit here and do not move," he hissed into his ear. "My in-laws are here and they would not take too kindly to you."

Killua gladly took a seat on the plush sofa. That is, until Gon sat directly beside him, their thighs and hips touching. "You don't have to babysit me, you know," he muttered.

Gon blinked. "I don't understand."

"Of course not," he replied, unkindly. "I mean, you don't have to sit with me. Go eat. Photobomb a few pictures. Go hit on a random stranger. Whatever. Just go and have fun."

"That doesn't sound very fun without you."

"Oh for God's sake, Gon! Just leave me alone!" He scooted to the far end of the couch. "Unless that concept is too difficult for you to grasp."

"Just for that, I hope Kurapika beats you tomorrow," Gon cried in a fit of rage before running from the room.

"I hope so too," Killua whispered, resting his chin on his fist.

A pair of legs appeared in his line of vision. He glanced up to find Kurapika standing in front of him. "I would say that was a bit harsh. But no. It's better this way. If he's angry with you, it may be easier for him to get over your death." Kurapika considered the thought for a moment. "Then again, that was your plan all along, wasn't it?" His expression hardened. "You were going to let me win," he accused.

Killua couldn't help but smirk. "Are you admitting that I'm stronger than you?"

"No, I'm not. But I don't want to fight you if you're not going to give it your all."

"It wouldn't be much of a victory, would it?" he goaded.

Kurapika clenched his hands into fists. "I swear to God if you try and pull this suicidal crap tomorrow-"

"Kurapika!" Leorio called out. "Get in here and eat something before we leave for the church! You won't be able to eat again until the reception." He waited a beat before adding, "Killua, you too!"

Killua stood up with a grin and darted past him into the other room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **Thank you all for the feedback! I appreciate every single one of my followers and your kind reviews! I have no intention of dropping the story anytime soon. As long as you guys are reading it, I'll continue writing it! :D P.S. Tessa is just a random name I picked off the top of my head. I don't even know where I've heard it before.

Killua groaned at the sound of clinking glass. For the umpteenth time since the reception started, Leorio and Tessa shared a kiss. _It might have been cute the first time, but that shit gets old_. Daring a glance at Gon, he saw that the boy's face was lit up with a smile as he watched the happy couple. His own lips twitched. Suddenly Gon turned to look at him, catching him staring. Killua quickly looked away. They hadn't spoken one word to each other all day. Not since their little spat. _It's all for the best_, he supposed.

The two boys were seated across from each other at a large, round table decorated with flowers and candles. Killua was seated to the left of Kurapika at the head table. The seat was originally meant for one of the relatives, but Leorio had kindly asked them to move. He wanted to make sure Kurapika could 'keep an eye on him.' As if he could do anything with the stupid Nen chains wrapped around his wrists. Killua snuck a peek around the yard, making sure no one was watching him, before sliding his hands underneath the table. It had been years since he had been forced to use his special ability, but he decided now was a better time than any. The men and women he was asked to target weren't very strong. Killing them required no exertion. It certainly didn't require the use of Nen.

His stomach dropped as he realized that must have been Illumi's plan all along. As long as he assigned him weak targets, he would never grow as a Hunter. Anger boiled up inside of him. He held his hands a few inches apart and stared down at his lap. A self-satisfied smirk crossed his lips as an electric current surged between both palms. _I've still got it._ Not wanting to get caught, he glanced back up. Gon was watching him from across the table. Killua offered him an innocent smile, but that only seemed to raise his suspicions. His arched eyebrows were drawn closely together.

Killua desperately wanted to keep experimenting with his ability, but Gon was eying him like a hawk and Kurapika was too close for comfort. He was hoping that if he built up a strong enough charge, he could use it to break the Nen chains, at least long enough for him to free himself. It was a huge gamble, but what did he care? If things went his way, he'd be dead tomorrow anyways. Kurapika would know right away if his aura was being harmed, so Killua's window of opportunity was small. It would require perfect timing. Timing he wasn't so sure he had.

After dinner had been served and the guests were several drinks past tipsy, it was time for speeches. Gon was the first to deliver. He stood up and faced the sweetheart table, where Leorio and Tessa were seated, their hands clasped together. Now that Gon's attention was off of him, and Kurapika was focused on the speech being given, Killua was given the opportunity to test his own strength. He worked up a pretty impressive electrical charge, but had to stop once Gon finished his speech and sat back down.

A tall figure appeared directly behind Killua, causing him to jump ever so slightly. He relaxed when he saw that it was only Leorio. The newly-married man was radiating happiness. Leorio rested a hand on Kurapika's shoulder before encouraging him to stand and give a speech. Kurapika hesitated before rising to his feet. He was not nearly as outgoing as Gon, and it took him a moment to build up the nerve to begin speaking. Gon let out a sound of encouragement from where he sat.

_Now is my only chance_, Killua thought to himself. While Kurapika was distracted, he focused every ounce of energy he had into transmuting his aura into electricity. He bit back a scream as he released the charged particles and thunderbolted the Nen chains that restrained him. The manacles vanished in the blink of an eye. Kurapika broke off mid-sentence. The delay in reaction gave Killua enough time to grab the steak knife off the table, jump out of his seat, and hold the knife to Leorio's throat.

"Killua, don't!" Gon cried.

His pent-up rage bubbled to the surface. "And why shouldn't I?"

"Because Leorio is your friend! _We _are your friends."

"Some friend you are," Killua screamed at him, his eyes flooded with tears. "If we're such good _friends_, why didn't you ever come looking for me?"

"Huh?" asked Gon, his fear-filled eyes widening. "You told me not to."

"And that stopped you?" he bawled. "You never do anything anyone tells you!"

"Killua…" Gon breathed.

"You're _so_ stupid, Gon! How do you even survive?"

"You take that back!"

"Unless…" Killua's breath hitched. "Unless you saw how strong you were without me," he said, lowering the knife. "And you decided a life without me was worth it." The knife was ripped from his hand and he was tackled to the ground, but he put up no fight. He had no fight left in him. The only thing keeping him going for the past five years was the belief that his best friend in the entire world was only staying away to respect his wishes. But he was starting to realize the true reason. Gon no longer needed him.


	9. Chapter 9

Kurapika pressed his lips together. "I hate seeing you like this."

"That's hard to believe, considering you're the one who chained me up," Killua replied bitterly.

"I had no other choice," Kurapika shot out defensively. "You were going to kill Leorio."

"I never would have actually done it," Killua mumbled, shying away from the other boy's gaze.

"Stop lying to me," he asserted. "And how about you start being truthful for once?"

Killua sneered. "I'm always truthful."

"Oh? How about your feelings for Gon?"

His lips quivered. "Gon is dead to me."

"How can you even say that?" Kurapika asked, giving him a look of disgust. "Do you have any idea what you mean to him?"

"I don't mean shit to him," Killua shouted, not even caring if Gon heard him from the other room. "He abandoned me!"

"What are you talking about?" Kurapika hissed, trying to keep his voice down. "You're the one who abandoned him!"

"I did him a favor by leaving."

"A _favor_? Killua, do you know what Gon did all day before you showed up?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?" he smart-mouthed.

"He practiced his Nen."

"What's your point?" questioned Killua, not seeing where he was going with this.

"That's _all_ he does. And that's all he's been doing since you left. The only reason why he is so strong is because he's had lots of time to practice."

"Well it helped him find Ging, didn't it?"

"Gon hasn't found him yet. He tried for about a month, but his heart just wasn't in it."

Killua reacted violently to this piece of information. "What do you _mean _he hasn't located his father yet? That…that idiot," he sputtered. "He had five years to do so. Five years!"

"Don't call him an idiot," Kurapika rebuked, trying to defend his friend.

"But he is an idiot!" Killua cried, on the verge of convulsing. His anger manifested into his aura and he allowed it to flow through him. The unexpected spike in life energy enhanced his strength. He used it to his advantage and ripped free of the Nen chains that constrained him. Kurapika stumbled backwards, speechless, as Killua tore from the room.

Gon was sprawled out on the couch, shoving handfuls of popcorn into his mouth. Killua jumped over the back of the furniture and tackled him, sending the bowl flying. In a blind fit of rage, he began punching the startled boy. Gon grunted and tried grabbing for his arms while protecting his face. His hands clamped around Killua's wrists, stilling them. Gon rolled over in an attempt to pin Killua down on the couch, but they both ended up toppling to the floor. Gon had the advantage of size and managed to subdue him. He elbowed Killua in the side once for good measure.

"How could you?" Killua shouted up at him.

"How could_ I_?" Gon asked in astonishment. "You're the one who attacked me!"

"No, I mean how could you give up on the one goal you set for yourself?" When Gon let out a confused whimper, Killua sighed in exasperation. "You gave up on looking for Ging!"

Understanding dawned on Gon's face. He ducked his head. "It was no fun without you."

"It wasn't _fun_?" Killua retorted in disbelief. He shoved Gon off of him and scrambled to his feet. "No! Do you know what wasn't fun? Being tortured for days on end by my own brother until he was convinced I wasn't going to flake out on the family again." Tears started to blur his vision. "And all because I wanted to give you the greatest possible chance of finding your dad."

"You didn't _have_ to go back to work for your family," said Gon insensitively.

"Where was I supposed to go?" Killua cried. His voice cracked. "I had no one else." Not wanting Gon to see him this weak, this vulnerable, he made a break for the front door.

"You hurt me when you left," Gon said, stopping Killua in his tracks. "For the longest time, I thought I had done something wrong. You're always telling me how stupid I am. I figured that was the reason and I tried becoming smart for you. I did."

"No, Gon don't…" He sighed. "You're not stupid." They stared at each other from across the room. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." He waited a moment before adding, "Gon, do you think we can…can we just start over?"

Gon brightened up instantly. "You want to be friends again, Killua?"

Killua wanted them to be so much more than that. "Friends," he agreed with a small smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: I greatly appreciate all the love! Sorry it took so long to update :3 P.S. Serenicoffee, you made my day with that poem haha.**

"I'll definitely find Ging now," said Gon, his voice rising in excitement. "Now that I have you by my side."

"Oh geez," Killua replied shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. If only Gon knew the effect his words had on him. The boy was completely oblivious.

Kurapika stepped into the room. "I'm happy that the two of you made up and all that, but you are both forgetting something extremely important." He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

They both stared blankly at him. Killua was the first to speak up. "Are you going to make us guess or….?"

"I'm not letting the two of you fight," Gon interrupted. His lower lip jutted out.

"That's not what I was talking about," Kurapika replied in exasperation. "Although now that you mention it…"

"Can you just tell us already?" Killua snapped.

"Aren't you forgetting about your family?" asked Kurapika, deadpan. "You may no longer be planning on killing Leorio and Tessa, but they sure as hell will be once they find out you never finished the job."

"Leorio," Killua gasped. His icy blue eyes widened in fear. For all he knew, they might already be too late. _Illumi knows me all too well. He knew I would never go through with the kill. And he was probably waiting for me to not return home. _"We have to go. Right now."

Kurapika nodded in agreement. "Leorio and Tessa have to be at the resort by now. We'll book the next flight out-"

"No," Killua said, interrupting him. "There's no point. If my brother knows Leorio's current location, then it is already too late. He's dead. Our best bet will be to track down Illumi before-"

"And what?" Kurapika opposed. "Kill him? You can't kill him. None of us can. He's too strong. We at least have to try and get to Leorio on time. If we can get to him before Illumi does, we can hide and protect him and Tessa until we figure something out."

"I'm telling you, that's a bad idea! He can't go into hiding forever."

"Let's split up then," Kurapika proposed. "I'll go and protect my best friend. You can go do whatever the hell you want."

"Don't be like that," Killua condemned. "I _am _trying to protect Leorio. He's my friend too."

Kurapika ignored him and turned to face Gon. "Come on, Gon. We have to leave now if we're going to make it to the airport on time to catch the next flight."

Killua scoffed. "No, Gon is coming with me."

Gon looked back and forth between them. He let out a whimper. "Why can't we all just agree on a plan?"

Kurapika threw his hands in the air. "I don't have time for this. Gon, stay with your boyfriend. I don't care." He ripped open the front door and stormed out of the house.

Killua stared after Kurapika, mortified. He dared a glance at Gon. His eyebrows were knit together. He looked like he was concentrating hard on something. _He must not have heard what Kurapika had said_. Killua breathed in relief. "If you really want to go with him, you can."

The serious expression on Gon's face disappeared. He looked over at Killua with a smile. "Uh huh. I'm never letting you leave me again, Killua." Gon winked at him. "You're stuck with me."

Gon's words left him too happy to be embarrassed. "We have to somehow figure out who wants Leorio dead," said Killua, once his heart started again. "My brother wouldn't tell me who hired him."

"I can't think of anyone who would want him dead," Gon reflected. "He's a doctor. He helps people."

"Maybe they're not after Leorio," Killua considered.

"What do you mean?"

Killua shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts. "How much do you know about this Tessa lady?"

"Huh?" Gon asked in surprise.

"We need to consider the possibility that Tessa was their main target."

Gon shook his head firmly. "Tessa is really nice."

"That doesn't mean anything," he replied with a shrug. "Anyone can pretend to be nice."

"You've never even met her."

"It was just a thought," Killua acceded. He didn't want to fight with Gon. Not when their relationship was still rocky. He raked his fingers through his spiky silver hair with a sigh. "Well if we can't get the job called off _or_ beat Illumi, what are we supposed to do?"

A dazzling smile lit up Gon's face, momentarily paralyzing Killua. "Oh, I have an idea!"

"Erm, what is it?"

"_We_ may not be strong enough to stop Illumi, but we know someone who is."

"Who?" Killua asked with a frown.

Gon grinned. "Hisoka!"

Killua shuddered at the name. "Absolutely not. I don't want him anywhere near you."

Gon tugged at Killua's arm. "He's the only chance we've got, Killua."

"If you thought he was creepy before, there is no telling how he'll act now that 'his fruit has ripened.'"

"He's not going to try anything," said Gon, in an attempt to reassure him. He smirked directly at Killua. "And if he does, I'll have you there to back me up."

"Fine," Killua grumbled. "But if he lay so much as a finger on you-" He stopped mid-sentence, realizing how he must have sounded. Like a possessive boyfriend. "Let's just go."

Gon let out a laugh and jumped on his back, nearly toppling the poor boy over. He wasn't as light as he used to be. "Oh, Killua. I've missed you."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** I apologize for taking so long to write the next chapter. I've been so busy with school that I haven't had the time.

"Where is the creep?" Killua asked impatiently, scoping the area.

"I dunno," replied Gon with a shrug. "Hisoka said he would meet us here. At the train station."

"Well he's thirty minutes late."

"He's doing _us_ a favor, remember?" Gon said, turning to face his friend. "Try to be nice."

Hisoka's velvety voice interrupted Killua's snarky comeback. "Oh, it isn't a favor." The boys whipped their heads to the left, shocked by the enigmatic man's sudden appearance. "I am expecting compensation."

"Hisoka!" Gon cried, with a little too much enthusiasm for Killua's liking.

"What kind of compensation?" Killua asked warily.

"Well that all depends," Hisoka answered smoothly.

"On what?"

"On what, exactly, you want me to do for you."

"We want you to kill Illumi," Gon blurted out.

Hisoka chuckled. It was a seductive, haunting sound. "Illumi is a dear friend of mine. I have known him far longer than I have known either of you. Why would I ever do such a thing?"

"He's planning on killing Leorio," Gon explained in earnest. "And Tessa."

"And I should care…why?"

"You've spared his life once before," Killua reminded him. "There has to be a reason you didn't kill him."

"Oh you sweet, sweet boy. You thought it was because I _cared_ about him?"

"Well…"

"I did it for Gon."

"Huh?" Gon asked in surprise.

"You never would have forgiven me if I had killed your friend."

"And why should that matter to you?" Killua snapped.

"Don't be like that," Hisoka murmured, running a finger across the boy's cheek. Killua swatted his hand away. "We can share him."

Gon frowned. "Eh?"

Killua rushed to change the subject. He sensed that Hisoka somehow knew all about the secret feelings he was harboring for Gon. He didn't need those feelings to become known. "Well Gon and Leorio are still friends. And he'll be upset if his friend dies."

"He's older now. It's about time that he learned death is a part of life."

"Please, Hisoka," Gon pleaded.

Hisoka let out another sultry chuckle. "Then again, how can I say no to him in those shorts?"

"So you'll help us stop him?" Killua asked, surreptitiously placing himself in front of Gon.

"I'll help you save your little friend," he answered in amusement. "But first I want to know what I'll be getting in return." His piercing gaze slid past Killua, to Gon.

"The opportunity to duel Chrollo Lucifer," Killua announced.

Hisoka's eyes darkened. "He disappeared after the Nen Exorcist removed Kurapika's curse. Don't lie to me. No one knows where he is."

"I do."

"You're lying."

"What if I'm not?"

Hisoka leveled the silver-haired boy with a penetrating glare. "Fine. But if you are…" An Ace of Spades appeared between his index and middle finger. "I won't hesitate in splitting your throat."

From behind him, Killua heard Gon gasp. "And I won't stop you," Killua affirmed. "Now let's track down Illumi before it's too late."

"Very well then," Hisoka replied in mirth. He started ahead of the two boys. They fell in step behind him, but kept their distance.

Gon grabbed Killua's arm and pulled him close. "You better know what you're doing," he whispered.

Killua kept his eyes trained on Hisoka's backside. "It'll be fine."

"He's serious, you know. He'll slit your throat without thinking twice about it."

"Then so be it," he said, feigning nonchalance.

"Don't say that," demanded Gon. Shocked at the anger in his words, Killua finally turned to look at his friend. "How would you like it if I said something like that?"

The mental image of Gon with a slit in his throat and blood gushing out of it made him shudder. "I would never let that happen to you."

Gon's eyebrows drew together in frustration. "And I would?"

Killua sighed. "Forget it. You wouldn't understand." He saw Gon's point, but it wasn't the same thing. Sure, Gon loved him in a way and would feel sad if he were to die. But there was a difference between friendship love and the love he felt for Gon. A big difference.

Gon opened his mouth to protest, but Hisoka cut him off. "Are the two of you done sharing secrets? If so, we need to grab the next train to Yorknew."

Gon redirected his attention towards Hisoka. "What? Why?"

Hisoka sighed through his nose. "Because that is where Illumi is."

"And how would you know that?" asked Killua sharply.

"Because he told me so," he answered, pulling out his cell phone. "While the two of you were busy confessing your love for one another or whatever it is you two were whispering about." Killua blushed furiously. "He doesn't suspect anything. Yet."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go." Killua stalked ahead of them towards the ticket booth. It was at times like these that he was grateful Gon was so oblivious. Comments like the one Hisoka made didn't even register with him. Then again, it was because of that obliviousness that the two of them could never be together.

After purchasing the tickets, the three of them boarded the train. Gon and Killua sat together, while Hisoka chose to sit a few feet away. Killua closed his eyes and rested the back of his head against the seat.

"You're wrong, you know." Killua's eyes flickered open to find Gon staring at him, his body leaning into his. "About what you said earlier. I do understand. Despite what you may think, Killua, you mean just as much to me as I do to you."

_You don't know what you're saying_. "Forget about what I said earlier. I didn't mean anything by it." He shut his eyes once more in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. "Just drop it, okay?"

"Okay, Killua," Gon replied softly. The train lurched forward, beginning its departure. But it wasn't the abrupt movement that made Killua's breath catch in his throat. It was the hand that he felt sliding into his own and the fingers that entangled themselves in his. Gon Freecss was holding his hand. And despite the implications and consequences, he didn't pull his hand away.


End file.
